Many of you reading this blog know that I had a serious car accident January 22 of this year. I had taken half of a Friday off work, as I do every year to help lead an overnight church camp for kids. It is one of my favorite things to do and it is at my most favorite place on earth. My kids were with me and we were about two hours into our drive--about 20-30 minutes from camp. The kids were both busy on their electronics and I was thinking through what I needed to do when I got to camp.
Out of nowhere, appeared a small patch of ice. I saw it before we hit it, but I did not have time to react correctly and it completely caught me off guard because the roads had not been bad at all for the two hours we had been driving. I screamed as the car went out of control. We went across the other lane of the road and into a yard filled with lots of large trees. The last thing I remember is that we were heading for a big phone or electrical pole and that we needed to get around it. We did manage to get around it, but just barely. It took off the passenger mirror where my daughter was sitting. Then I guess we started flipping frontwards three times. We landed right side up which I remember thinking was amazing. My phone landed right side up directly in front of my steering wheel. My son's door had opened and closed during the flips, but thank goodness only his iPad and phone went out of the car and not his hand, arm, head.....
This is a tragic story.... but the fact of the matter is that life often hits us out of nowhere. It might be a wreck or it might be a disease, divorce, cheating, theft, death, anything.... But often it is not expected. Even so, we have a choice in how we proceed and how we conduct ourselves and our beliefs. It is so easy to jump right to "why me God?", "Why now?". "Why this?". Well, to be honest... why not? I can look around every day and find 10, 20, hundreds of people who have it worse than I do. Why not me? Why them? Trust me...I would be lying if I said that I was not terrified and wondering what my future would look like. But I will tell you I was thankful I have a future to look at. I was thankful that my children were spared most physical harm.
I don't remember a lot of the next few days. I know that I rode in an ambulance with my kids to one hospital and that my friend Ellen left camp--even though I know she was needed there to come sit with me and my children while we waited for my husband and the kid's dad to arrive. I know they were cleared there and that I then went by ambulance to another hospital in a lot of pain. And then I was lifelined to Methodist Hospital. I don't remember anything from the moment I got off the helicopter until I was in the Neuro ICU. I do remember thinking that I was going to try to make everyone smile that entered my room. I think I was pretty successful with that one. That floor was sad and it was surreal to be there because the woman in the next room was brain dead and her family got notified while I was there. I could hear them praying and singing for a miracle for at least a full day. I don't think they got it. One or two other people died while I was there and everyone else was so quiet... they were incubated or just not conscious. I remember Roy and I were laughing about some things one day--I remember thinking "this is the joy that comes from the Lord--not based on circumstances but just on him". I am not sure I have ever experienced it like that before... but I did that day. That verse can be found in Philippians 4:4-5. It took on new meaning for me.
I am told that after the surgery, my first question was "Will I walk again?". The doctor said he wasn't sure... some people did but many never did again. I told him it was ok either way, and I am not sure he knew how to take it, although I now know he is a Christian too... so maybe he did. During this time when I wasn't sure I would walk and I could not feel my legs or feet, I remember not really being too worried about it, but being excited when I was able to wiggle my toes or feel my feet for the first time. This verse can be found in Philippine 4:6 (Don't worry). It was also during this time I remember thinking, "This is the peace that surpasses all understanding.". This is Philippians 4:7.
I had several setbacks. I couldn't walk at first. Then I couldn't urinate. Then I did go, but I couldn't control it. Then I couldn't go again for like two weeks... that was scary, but I still tried to look for positives and keep a sense of humor.
There were several things that happened that were very healing too. My old church really helped us out a lot and someone that I used to be great friends with before some trouble came to see me and it was just really healing for my soul. Philippians 4:8-9.
I have had to come to terms with a lot of things, needing help, bills, not driving, not teaching, etc. It has definitely been a one day at a time kind of deal. But, Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.". I get a little stronger every day. I can do a little more every day. Today, I finished the first part of a college class I decided to take and I walked 1000 steps. Those are baby steps, but they are still steps.
This experience helped my husband see his first miracle. I bet he will see more. Who knows what else will come from this.... but I know there will be stuff!
Miracles happen every day... big and small. Keep your eyes open and you might just see one. And remember that you have a choice in every situation on how you handle it. It may just have a huge impact on your future or someone else!