Human by Katy Perry (click here to hear the song)
One of my friends posted a song on Facebook earlier....Human by Katy Perry....I really like that song. It got me thinking about this whole thing called love and life. As a single gal, it is proper to say that you are not "looking" for a husband. If you are looking for one....it makes you desperate and it scares people. As a single girl, we are supposed to be strong, independent, I can do anything girls. It is not good to show weakness or complain too much about how things are. And, seriously--you never admit that you are looking for a husband....Well, guess what...that is just kind of not realistic. Don't get me wrong--I do not think that every single girl is looking for a husband, but guess what--if they are...it isn't necessarily a bad thing. I can really only speak for myself, but I know a lot of single women and from what I can tell, many of us feel the same and struggle with the same things. If I am really REALLY honest, yes I would like to have a husband. And, at the same time--the thought of having one terrifies me. I am staring down the barrel of an empty nest and it does kind of scare me sometimes. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Do I have a full and rich life--yes I do. Do I have tons of friends? Yes, I do. But, there have been years--literally YEARS where I have not been touched, held, or kissed. YEARS...There are studies that show what that does to babies--they can die from it. It is no picnic as an adult either. I have done my share of dating too...and to be honest, sometimes that is even less fun than being alone. Here is what I know....I am only human. I do the best I can most of the time. I want to be loved and desired. I would like to someday find a man who thinks I am the best thing that he ever stumbled upon. Someone who would fight to have me in their life and would fly to the moon and back to be with me. That is a tall order...I seriously do not expect perfection...but I do expect some serious effort. My nature is to be a fixer and a planner. But, I have learned that I don't want a fixer upper....and I have learned that although when you are married you should stick with your spouse through hell or high water....that when you are dating you should listen to those red flags. If you see someone that treats you great, but treats other people impatiently or with disrespect...guess what will happen eventually...You will be on the receiving end of that. If someone is constantly making negative comments about people...eventually they will do that about you. Dating is the job interview. When you are hiring for a job, you do not expect the perfect person, but if you see major red flags or character flaws you are not going to hire that person. If you are hiring a sales person--you don't pick the guy who is so shy they cannot even introduce themselves. If you are hiring a nanny--you don't pick the one who cannot stand children...Why is it different when we are dating? I think being really honest and saying "this is not gonna work" is actually the kindest thing you can do if you find yourself in that situation. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to end up in another bad relationship. Guess I am done rambling for now--that is why this blog is called Random Thoughts of a Single Mom...sometimes they are pretty random!