Friday, February 3, 2012

How I became a single mom

People do not often want to ask that question....sometimes they do ask, often they wonder, and sometimes they just make their own assumptions. I really do not mind answering the question....I guess first of all, I should say that I never ever wanted to be a single mom. I really thought I would be married forever and raise my kids in a two parent home. I think many single parents (both male and female) feel the same way. Anyway, when my husband left the first time because he "wasn't happy", I was devestated. I did not think that I could do it on my own. My children were 3 and 5. They were so little and required so much attention. I remember feeling guilty because as much as I tried to be strong for them, I felt broken and scared. As time went by though, I got stronger and better. I just had to take each day as it came. I will say that during this time, even though he was not with me, he was a good dad. I never had to wonder when or if I was going to get support. He almost always took them when he was supposed to. He did not really see them much more than that, but we were on decent terms. I feel like God really helped me get through the rough spots. I think that when we go through difficult things like this, whether it is a divorce, an illness, or the death of a loved one, God gives us the strength we need. I have felt overwhelmed at times, but then there is always a friend that comes up beside me and helps out or something good happens to remind me of his presence. I sometimes wonder if things would have worked out if we had had support like there is at my church now. There are ladies that come beside women struggling in their marriage and do Bible studies and encourage them to keep trying. There are men that come along side of the men and encourage them to keep trying. There are Respect Dare classes and Marriage classes....I think these can be really rewarding if people accept the help. I feel like even though I struggled through a divorce, God has blessed me and my children and placed us in a postion where we can teach and help others. I hope that through me, others can be inspired to know that they CAN do it...that they do not NEED another person to be complete. I hope they see that their lives can be COMPLETE as a single person / parent. This situation is not what I wanted or I planned, but I am ok in spite of that. I guess I would even say ok is not the right life is great just the way it is. I have God in the center, my children next, and friends right after that....I have all that I need and more.

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